"I know what they use lidocaine for"

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Originally posted on Reddit by u/alliebeth88. Lightly edited for grammar and clarity.

Community pharmacist here. My partner at work told me that this happened on my day off and I'm still stunned.

An urgent care NP writes for magic mouthwash and Tamiflu for a patient. Magic mouth is not covered (as usual, and it is hella pricey) so my partner calls the urgent care to ask for plain lidocaine and instruct the patient to mix themselves. Apparently, the urgent care NP stated very matter-of-factly:

"I don't have my head in the sand. I know what they use lidocaine for. They swallow it for oral sex. I'm not changing it."

...So your patient is sick enough that you gave them Tamiflu, but they're going to "divert" lidocaine gel? So bizarre.

Next day I'm working and an actual physician sends in lidocaine, codeine cough syrup, and azithromycin for this patient who is obviously very ill. Not sure if the NP even tested for flu.

Bonus: I argued with another NP yesterday over a 10-day course of amoxicillin 2 g BID prescribed for a 30 kg child. She kept repeating "Well, I dose at 100 mg/kg for this [so] it's entirely appropriate." Ok, BUT MATH. The NP didn't back down until I told her that I was documenting that she really wanted this dose. And then she was like "Oh, no I meant 1500 mg BID." Yeah, lady, that's why I'm calling!